90% vs 10%

90/10...a ratio I was considering today when considering the way I submerge myself in life.

Yesterday I attended the first of a 3 day quilting retreat in my hometown with the Dear Jane quilters. Instead of staying at the hotel and committing 100% to the experience I opted to return home at night; 90% in and 10% out of the experience. Instead of setting up my sewing machine and committing 100% to a project I instead dabbled at 3 projects and accomplished probably 10% on each one, leaving a 90% deficit.

It seems I'm always flying on the edge of experiences, keeping one foot securely grounded. That anchor that is always present keeps me from submersing myself 100%. So, instead of being saturated with color, experience, possibilities I build a little wall that keeps me "safe" but actually causes conflict because I'm not all the way IN, only 90%.

So today I'm packing up my sewing machine, bringing my new project which I'm not enthused about but thought I should do, and sew my little heart out. This evening is the annual "show and tell" and I have two projects I did commit to 100% and will present them with 100% enthusiasm.